(Recorded especially for B.L.)

New Castle

In days of old when knights were bold there lived a king and queen, with an array of lords, sirs and other questionable characters, in New Castle.  Me thinks that the aforesaid royals were driven to distraction trying to get their, albeit loyal, subjects to live in law abiding actions.

Lord Barrett was an exceedingly creative lord and was the resident maker of offensive weapons.  Deep down he was really a pacifist as he crafted and carved his swords from the softwood trees and during internal skirmishes they broke easily and no bodily harm was done.  Sir Joshua lived close to Lord Barrett in the upper great hall of the castle along with Uber Oli, a formidable duo indeed.  On outward signs they appeared to love jousting and all other forms of combat, especially Uber Oli who had a preponderance of talking about various plans of destruction which past acquaintances had shared with him. This could have alarmed their highnesses but late at night while walking the halls music from stringed instruments could be heard wafting gently into the still night. The Queen’s heart was gladdened by the sound “For sooth” said she, “surely my knights could not produce such sweet music, their actions must not really portray what is in their heart.”

Master Will, who lived in a room down the hall, was actually in alliance with Sir Joshua, for late at night he would sneak along the cold dank hallway and help compose the sweet music. The King would hear the floorboards creak and one night caught Master Will on his nightly jaunt.  Instead of admitting his misdemeanor he came up with a multitude of excuses so the king offered Uber Oli, who had come out of his chamber, a knighthood if he would get Master Will to confess.  The thought of a knighthood did somewhat appeal to Uber Oli but after all Master Will was protecting him so he declined the offer.  At that same moment the queen came along the hall and boxed her husband’s ears for thinking of something so dastardly and at that juncture they all apologized and all went off to bed.

The next morning they were awakened by a fracas in the lower hall.  Apparently BB the Barbarian was practicing his singing and was going from a high C to the lowest notes heard in the kingdom, at 5am.  This in turn had awakened Don Cimino which severely displeased him as he was dreaming of beautiful maidens.  The first to arrive on the scene was Kaiser Karl, the kings appointed right hand man, who observed Don Cimino rushing along the corridor brandishing a newly made sword but BB heard his screams of rage and quickly drew his hand crafted sword from its hilt.  With fear of his demise BB blocked the blow, probably due to his lacrosse training, and appealed to Don Cimino’s mercy.  Kaiser Karl was just about to use his authority when Don Cimino burst out laughing.  “Although I was mad I would never do you any bodily harm, you see when you awakened me I thought that the maiden I was dreaming about was in danger and I was acting out the dream trying to save her.”  “You really fooled me” said BB with a sigh of relief,” methinks you may have talent as an actor, go speak with the Czar he knows all about this acting stuff.”

With all of this early morning activity they were a little peckish so went to the Great Hall where serf Michael was making breakfast.  While enjoying a delicious repast the Czar entered the Great Hall.  His vibrant red hair cascaded down his back and his tall slim stature was one of royalty.  He had come to New Castle many years ago from a far off land called Transylvania and was very secretive about his past especially his allergy to light.  He had seen many things and people in his past and agreed about Don Ciminos acting talent.  “You know, with B B’s voice, Uber Oli and Sir Joshua’s musical talent, Lord Barrett’s creative talent, and Master Will’s composition we might be able to go on the road and make some money.  “Not to mention the chicks,” said Don Juan. “You mean young maidens,” said Don Cimino who was frequently correcting Don Juan’s misuse of the pure Anglo tongue.  “Hey dude cool it man, like get with the action we need some cool backdrops if we get some rad gigs, and I’m your man.” Don Juan said with great animation after having listened to the conversation.

By this time the other members of the castle were arriving, they were aware of a quiet figure by their side, it was none other than St. Christopher.  Although he had not been canonized by the church the members of New Castle had bestowed the title upon him because of his quiet nature and endurance in difficult times.  St. Chris had had much time to read in his past and unknown to his peers had an incredible ability for memorization.  When hearing about all the plans of being traveling troubadours he stood up on the table and gave an incredible rendition of Hamlet’s famous speech.  “Bravo, bravo cheered his friends and at once noted the quiet St. Christopher had talents that they could indeed use in their new venture. “Hey guys you like just ignoring the man here.” quipped Don Juan who wanted a reply to his offer of his artistic talents. During the past conversation he had been furtively sketching and had produced an incredible array of backdrop designs.  They at once viewed his work and decided that indeed his talents could be used.  “Where is our leader for this venture, we need someone with acting skills, artistry and imagination. “Baron Bibda Flaunte is indeed our man!” they cried in unison.  At this juncture in strode the man they had talked about, a dark figure, with dark hair and eyes who had done a great job in leading the motley crew.  He would sit in his dungeon room for hours designing and creating great work but also trying to unify his entrusted men.  He had done this by joining them in making weapons, jousting and being involved in strategic plans of battle but now something new was developing.

They were all assembled now in the great hall and were so intent in their plans that they did not see the king and queen and Kaiser Karl entering.  “What is all the excitement about?” asked the queen.  When they told her their plans of taking their talents “on the road” and entertaining in the royal kingdom of “The Hill of Walnuts” and beyond, she was delighted. “Thank goodness you are at last going to stop all this violent stuff, I really knew deep down that you could use your wonderful talents to produce harmony.”

The queen had been given her Christmas gift because she had seen that part of her subjects that was often obscured.
All of a sudden someone screamed, “Hot Soup!” and the peace and harmony were destroyed.  Bodies were everywhere writhing, twisting, and falling on each other and as she looked at the mayhem she saw Kaiser Karl and forsooth even her husband the king taking part in it.   “Ah well,” she declared “methinks this must be a man thing, never mind, I shall just have to ponder these things in my heart.
So you see in this season of celebration even in New Castle there was caring and creativity and talent.

Love,
H.R.H. The Queen